Do people still come on here?
Alright, alright, no one's probably reading this. But in case, just in case someone is, and simply because I'd just like to vent, I'd like to explain myself a bit further. I'd like to explain why the hell I'm writing this after years of not talking to any of you.
Okay. So for the past few months I've been playing this game called Life is Strange. It is a fantasitc game, and you should go ahead and buy it if you've got the time and money, but that's not the point of this post. You see, Life is Strange is a coming-of-age story, and as a lot of coming-of-age stories, it deals a lot about friendship and growth. The main character, Max, who just recently moved back into town, encounters her best friend Chloe in the most bizarre situation possible after years of not having any contact or conversation with her. Chloe is all bitter and angry that while she was grieving over her father's death, her only best friend just had to leave her and move to the big city. Chloe felt abandoned and alone. But none of that didn't really matter anymore, because she and Max have finally seen each other again, right?
I've seen that so many players of the game relate to this aspect of Life is Strange--abandonment, guilt, and rebuilding friendships. A lot of players have mentioned that the game has even inspired them to reconnect with old friends. These stories made me think--hey, I've just recently left my friends and moved to a big city, too. Do I have a Chloe that I could've possibly abandoned? Nope, I don't think so, I've been talking to my friends, chatting and tweeting, which means that I'm a good friend, right? When you think of an old and abandoned friend, a wave of nostalgia is supposed to hit you. Your friendship's a thing of the past--you don't think about it anymore and you don't regard it as important anymore. That's why a wave of nostalgia is supposed to hit you--that relationship has been long gone in your mind for so long that the mere thought of it stirs up this diversity of emotions in you. Something so close to your heart suddenly crashed and burned for some reason, but the nostalgia is there to remind you that it's still there and won't ever leave. I didn't really have that wave of nostalgia with any my friends, really.
But then I thought of you guys. You know who you are.
Some people will say that friends from the Internet aren't 'real' friends because you haven't met them in real life, but by following this logic, the times I spent staying up until 4 am to chat with you guys weren't valid because you weren't real friends. The times I would look forward to come home after class to talk to you weren't valid because you weren't real friends. The times I confided to some of you weren't valid because you weren't real friends. But you guys really were real to me, and having you really was just as good as having 'real-life' friends.
I'm so sorry that I just left. I'm so sorry that I kinda just faded away without explaining it all. But if you pinned me to the wall now and forced me to explain why I stopped talking to everybody, I still wouldn't be able to have an answer, because I really don't know. I have absolutely no idea.
Whenever I remember you guys, I would remember special memories individually, but my recollection of my experience with you as a whole would be stronger than individual memories. And how would I feel? I don't know. I can't explain it. I really can't explain the feeling I get when I remember all the times we virtually spent together. That wave of nostalgia, yes, but there's something... else. I get this feeling every time I remember something or someone close to my heart, and I get this same feeling whenever I remember you. That's how important you guys are to me. We were more than great friends. We had different personalities, we came from different countries and different backgrounds, but somehow we just... clicked. We had moments together. We spent hours and hours and hours talking to each other. We shared secrets with each other. We cried on each other's shoulder. We would rant to each other. Some of us found each other as an escape from their chaotic lives. I can say more, but I wouldn't want to waste any more of your time reading this, so I'll just say: we acted like how a typical group of friends would, but to me, it felt... more than just a group of friends. Maybe it had something to do with me being a tad bit younger than most of you so I found you guys as people to look up to. Maybe it had something to do with the cyber aspect of our friendship, which allowed for endless possibilities in sharing, talking, and to geting to know each other. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that we were so different... yet so alike. I don't know.
I had no idea that people so far away could feel so close to each other. We were thousands of miles away but our relationships were so tight that it felt like we just lived in the same neighborhod. Our relationship affected me, as cheesy as that may sound. Talking to you guys, I would feel free from any judgement, free from any hurt, and free to express.
You were and still are so important to me, you have no idea. This sounds cheesy, but we were a family. I know that this is how life goes, but it often hurts to think about how we just moved on and forgot about everything we've been through. But I know that deep down in your hearts, we're still probably there. Because in my heart, you guys are still there and won't ever leave.
I've mentioned that I've moved to a new city, so I had the opportunity to begin anew. I've moved on from my life as a Victorious Wiki member. I have new friends, I've immersed myself in a different culture, I've learned so many things that I couldn't have learned if I hadn't moved. But sometimes, I think about you as well. I've moved on, I'm not a child anymore, and I admit that I think about you guys every once in while. Vilo and Mini are probably in college now. Gareema's probably havin' a kickbutt time being her singing self. Seggum's probably enjoying here life as a Lithuanian or something. I wonder if Cait and Cliff are fine. Where's Ciria? Is FO still a mystery? There's a lot of you, I know. I won't single out all of you, but you know who you are.
I know this post is just a useless block of cheese, but I still think about you and care about you guys. I'm sorry I'm being such a Max, that I've been having 0 attempts in contacting any of you, though I still honestly care about you. I miss you all so much. It wouldn't be fair to have such a tight family just fade away and have everyone forget about how important it was to them.
I want to talk to you all again. I don't think anyone's reading this, but as I've said, I don't want us to just forget about each other. I know we were important to each other. But I also know it's important to move on. But what I also know... is that it's not fair for us just to forget each other like that.
Please, if someone's reading this. Let's think of ways to talk to each other again. Whether it be on the Victorious Wiki chat, or on Tinychat, I don't care. Just as long as I get to talk to the people that I met in this small wikia 4 years ago that I grew to love so much.